«A Factless Autobiography» in The Book of Disquiet.
Walking on these streets, until the night falls, my life feels to me like the life they have. By day they’re full of meaningless activity; by night, they’re full of meaningless lack of it. By day I am nothing, and by night I am I. There is no difference between me and these streets, save they being streets and I a soul, which perhaps is irrelevant when we consider the essence of things.
Fernando Pessoa,
(tr. by Richard Zenith)
People will disappoint you more often than not…
I guess the key here is learning how to deal with it and move on, it will of course affect your relationship with that individual but if you think about it in the end you should thank that person because they taught you a valuable lesson. the bigger the let down, the more important the lesson.
Paramour by Minos Papas
An Angel walked into my existence…
i met her randomly, i was bold, and got away with it. Mister shyness himself got out of his shell and took a chance and was handsomely rewarded. Life does have these wonderful things that happen when you least expect them to.
Now she’s going away and i’m sad and blue, because i’m rarely this lucky, to find someone i truly care for…r
C’est la vie!.
Nice guys always finish last…
is it really true?
Well i can say that from my experience, yes and no, it really depends on what we are talking about. If we are talking about picking up girls, most definitely, for random sex or whatever activity of the sort, its usually true, ‘not so nice guys’ have the upper hand every time (that also has a lot to do with ‘girls’ not knowing what they want, looking to experience new things and always choosing the dangerous and exciting) . Now if we are talking about women it varies. We all have a dark side and no one is intrinsically good, there has to be a perfect balance, and that will make the difference.
Speaking of nice guys, what is the real definition of it? its not being good all the time, but being honest and respectful when needed not letting your other head do the thinking. You know what i mean? One shouldn’t let others take advantage of you, and hide behind the ‘i’m a nice guy’ label, that’s just plain stupidity, lack of self love and self destructive, because it will put you in a downward spiral faster than you think.
So whatever you do, don’t be the victim! Don’t let anyone take advantage or manipulate you into doing their bidding.
The rule here is think of yourself first…always, because if you don’t nobody else will.
Love yourself more each day, spend some time with yourself, get to know yourself… i promise it won’t hurt, its not easy, but the rewards are priceless.
The State of our Minds…
One must not dwell to much in the past cause its never helpful, we must look forward and enjoy today, because thats all we have.
Its a tricky thing not to get stuck in the past or in the future.
Most people do it, me included, especially if you’re unhappy with your current situation, which is the case with me, I just have to shake it, and live a day at a time.
It gets really hard cause it seems like it creeps up on you, so we must fight it and let it blow past us cause its never positive, its not going to help, it only makes us more miserable and depressed. We have to take it one step at a time, day by day, minute by minute, because if we really look at it its all we really have. The past is gone, and the future…well, we make it with our decisions, and our conduct.
There are some interesting films on the subject like ‘sliding doors’, which is worth watching.
Its the little things, the ones we barely notice that truly affect our lives, our day by day.
And as bad as we feel, we could always be much worse… just think about a place like Africa, beautiful, and also plagued with war and hunger.
The world we live in is going the wrong way, if we don’t do anything about it, Just look at the state of things everyday in the news: Global Warming, War, Famine, Greed… I could go on forever…all we have to do i contribute positively and ‘be the change we want to see in the world’.
Look at the big picture and act accordingly. It will make you feel better and keep your mind off of the little problems we deal with everyday, we let them ruin our days instead of just acknowledging them and with a clear head and find a solution, cause its usually right in front of us, we just don’t want to see it.
We have complex minds that like to complicate things…why? I don’t really know, but i will find the answer, i look for it everyday…meditating helps me see things more clearly, and i know the answer is in me somewhere, so sooner or later, ill get there.
Friendship…a valuable commodity!
The word friend is often miss used, most people we call friends are acquaintances. A true friend is rare, and usually we can count them by the fingers of one hand. True friendship only exists when you are at peace with yourself, when you’ve accepted who you are, then its real, because usually its need, the need to not be alone, to be accepted, to belong. Everyday I work hard on accepting who I am, I spend enough time by myself, meditating, getting in touch with my inner self, accepting who I am. Its amazing, because i really value my friendships, and now can see who my real friends are. Before you can truly have friends you need to really love and accept yourself, know who you really are, and its only then that you can really love anyone else truly. True friendship is unconditional love…to me that’s what it means. Prove me wrong, i dare you.
The Berlin Wall….within us.
As the Berlin Wall came down so can our inner walls follow the same fate. The responsibility is solely on our shoulders, we can’t look for other people to do it for us, maybe they can help with good positive advice but never expect miracles, these can only happen by your acceptance of those walls. Recognizing they exist is a step on its own, only if you accept the problem is there, then you can start doing something about it. Lets face it, only we can change ourselves, nobody can do it for us, and the quicker we accept that the faster we can deal with them.
To be continued…..
Para ser grande, sê inteiro: nada
Para Ser Grande by Fernando Pessoa
Teu exagera ou exclui.
Sê todo em cada coisa.
Põe quanto és No mínimo que fazes.
Assim em cada lago a lua toda
Brilha, porque alta vive.
A poem by Fernando Pessoa.
Follow your destiny,
Water your plants,
Love your roses.
The rest is shadow
Of unknown trees.
Reality is always
More or less
Than what we want.
Only we are always
Equal to ourselves.
It’s good to live alone,
And noble and great
Always to live simply.
Leave pain on the altar
As an offering to the gods.
See life from a distance.
Never question it.
There’s nothing it can
Tell you. The answer
Lies beyond the Gods.
But quietly imitate
Olympus in your heart.
The gods are gods
Because they don’t think
About what they are.
Fernando Pessoa (Portugal, 1888 - 1935)
It is sometimes said that the four greatest Portuguese poets of modern times are Fernando Pessoa. The statement is possible since Pessoa, whose name means ‘person’ in Portuguese, had three alter egos who wrote in styles completely different from his own. In fact Pessoa wrote under dozens of names, but Alberto Caeiro, Ricardo Reis and Álvaro de Campos were – their creator claimed – full-fledged individuals who wrote things that he himself would never or could never write. He dubbed them ‘heteronyms’ rather than pseudonyms, since they were not false names but “other names”, belonging to distinct literary personalities. Not only were their styles different; they thought differently, they had different religious and political views, different aesthetic sensibilities, different social temperaments. And each produced a large body of poetry. Álvaro de Campos and Ricardo Reis also signed dozens of pages of prose.
A poem…one of mine.
The sun now scarcely shines on the pavement,
cold breeze blows endlessly by,
chilling every breath,
thoughts freeze as if the cold air had solidified the content,
and they’re no longer part of the creative self…
The weather has broken the will,
of the street, the trees, of the pedestrian,
life continues at the same speed but harder,
harsher, painful at times but…our dreams,
our faith, drive us on, speeding endlessly
throughout our days.
The summer is long gone,
and the warmth now grows inside our hearts,
compassion, joy and love build their nest within,
keeping us alive…waiting endlessly for better days.
Things do happen for a reason…
The more I’m alive the more i believe it. If look back at every situation you’ve been in, every problem you had, every person that you met, isolate every one of those situations, you can see exactly why they happened, most came to teach you something either about yourself, life or choices you needed to make to evolve as a human being. Even though sometimes we curse meeting some people, maybe they’re showing us we’re lacking something if we can’t accept them the way they are, like patience, compassion, understanding…
If you face a major problem, its a test of your character, you grow because you have to make important decisions from which you learn, they are never wrong, because you had to learn sometime, if you see them as a mistake, you’re missing an opportunity to learn. Just a different way of looking at life, with your eyes wide open, taking everything in…If you’ve never done it try it, its awesome. No mood swings, no irritation, you feel calm inside. You can hear a silence in your mind, it happens very fast, but the trick is to make it last longer everytime, until you can get into that state of silence all the time. Now if you face a certain situation you have never been in automatically you’re experiencing something new therefore learning about life and maybe yourself, how you react in said situation. Life is a very interesting thing. It’s never boring, unless you decide it to be. You control your fate through your actions, decisions, thoughts, words… So make it a positive one so you can enjoy it…Carpe Diem
Dating in New York as viewed by an outsider (Some Rules and mostly Questions arise).
Some of these might seems obvious to you but to me they are quite…well let me get on with it.
After a successful date the man is not supposed to contact the girl right away he has to wait a few days, some say a week, as to not seem too interested.
After sex on a first date what are her expectations? what are his? These days who knows…
Is it a taboo to be yourself on a first date? Does one have to agree with most things she says? like what she likes or dislikes, in something as simple as taste in movies, music, food, books?
Do opposites really attract? So why do dating site have percentages in the matches they give you?
Who pays the check on a first date? Is it wrong to share? An independent woman told me she would be upset if the man tried to pay.
I was told that going up to someone you’re interested in and introducing yourself is a dead give away that you’re interested in them, so i should make a neutral remark instead. I always though it was mainly a polite way to make conversation. maybe i’m wrong.
